


Insane?

by Hayhay_thedisgruntledgoose



Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, I feel so sorry for Emile, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:53:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21610105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hayhay_thedisgruntledgoose/pseuds/Hayhay_thedisgruntledgoose
Summary: Emile is going to need a little therapy himself, luckily his friends and boyfriend are there to help.Also posted on Wattpad under that same name my username is Haileyjames7
Relationships: Elliott/Dr. Emile Picani, Virgil sanders/Roman sanders/ Alex
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Insane?

**Author's Note:**

> Human au based on dealing with intrusive thoughts video.

I jolted out of my day dream, shocked and terrified of my own mind. I flinch as the front door to my flat slams open I hear my boyfriend Elliott loudly announce his arrival, I sit there trying to comprehend what happened, I here Elliott walk to our room and look at me in concern. “Emile what’s wrong” he said looking worried. “ im fine, just tired” I shakily spoke, he looked at me clearly not believing a word I say, “come on clearly your lying, you look like you’ve seen a ghost, did you have a nightmare? It’s okay if you did.” He said getting more concerned. 

He shouldn’t be concerned for me I might hurt him, it's obvious im losing it. Oh my god, what if I do hurt him, I would never forgive myself. "Yeah it's just a nightmare, I promise im fine." I said trying to be as convincing as possible. "okay, do you want to talk about it? You know I'm always here if you need me." He said in a reassuring voice.

I feel bad, he is so loving and I'm horrible. He doesn't deserve me. "I know, but I don't really feel like talking about it." I said looking down. "It's okay, you don't have to talk, maybe we should invite our friends over, maybe we could all talk about it all together?" I mean it's not a bad idea, they'll all find out I'm sick at once so I won't have to repeat it and I won't have to go through the pain of them leaving me again. 

It will all just happen at once. "Yeah I like that idea, thank you." I said smiling weakly." Elliott moved to sit next to me, " of course, I'll do whatever I can to make you feel better." I smiled at him again this one a little brighter. Elliott got up to go make the calls well I sat on the bed trying to prepare for tonight, I started to cry thinking about it, everyone I love is going to leave me. I don't know what happened but this is the third time this week that I've had a thought about me hurting my loved ones.

I always thought I was normal, well as normal as an over emotional theater nerd can be. I wonder what changed. I decided to stop thinking about it and go eat. I walked past the living room and saw Elliott talking on the phone. " Hay Elliott, I'm making some lunch do you want anything?" I whispered. "No thank you, I ate when I was shopping." He said smiling. I whispered an okay and walked to the kitchen. 

I look in the cupboards for something to eat, thank God Elliott went shopping today. I had been eating ramen all week waiting for pay day, normally we have enough money for the whole week before we run out and by then one of us gets paid but this week we had to pay rent so I had to wait for Elliott to get paid because I don't get paid until next Friday. I found some stuff for a ham sandwich and decided that sounded good. After I ate Elliott finally got off the phone it took him two hours to tell our four friends but I guess that makes sense, they are all very talkative and friendly. They agreed to come over for dinner around 4 p.m. so that gives me two hours to mentally prepare for the conversation.

I decided to get dressed and make sure I look presentable even if they're all my close friends, I still want to look nice. I changed into a pair of black skinny jeans and a long sleeve dark green sweater. I think I look nice but I still think I should get a second opinion. “I’ll just go ask Elliott” I say to myself. Oh god talking to myself is not going to make me seem any less insane. “hey Elliott, how do I look? your always saying I have bad taste in clothes and now I'm always paranoid that I look bad” I said with a playful pout.

Elliott looked up from his phone “I think you look dashing” he said winking dramatically. “oh my god Elliott, shut up” i said embarrassed. “I think I'll change to, i just don’t look as amazing as I could” Elliott said dramatically walking away. I don’t know what I was thinking agreeing to talk about… my problem. I really don’t want to loose him let alone all my friends.

“Maybe some of them will stay!“ I say hopefully. “who will stay?” Elliott say confused. “Oh I didn’t hear you come in and I was hoping they could stay for a movie after” i quickly lie. “Ooh that's a great idea, we have all been so busy with work that we haven’t been able to hang out in a while” he says excited. I smile at him feeling guilty for lying.

“ I’m glad you like my idea” I say weakly smiling. “I really don’t want to hurt him and my friends” i think sadly. Elliott and I decide to watch Netflix for an hour then start dinner we decided on making stir fry. It will mostly be me cooking considering I'm a chef. Elliott claims he can't cook but I've tasted it, I can assure you that he can cook.

After we finish cooking I look at the clock and it says 3:43, they should be here soon. Elliott and talked for about 10 minutes before we heard the doorbell go off. Which I'm embarrassed to say jumped, it helps that Elliott jumped too. I don't know why they are even Ring the doorbell we always just walk in when we are at their house and I've told them to do the same.

Terrance, Virgil, Roman, and Alex all arrived together because Virgil and Roman live together and Alex's car broke down a couple days ago we don't know why Terrance is with them. Terrance instantly attacked me with a hug if Elliott wasn't behind me I would have fallen backwards. "I missed you too Terrance" I said smiling, almost forgetting why we invited them in the first place.

Elliott nudged my side slightly, I looked at him confused until it hit me that we are still standing in the doorway. "Oh, come in come in" I said rushing them inside. They just looked at me mildly amused. After we all got In I asked if everyone was hungry. Let's just say they were.

After four very enthusiastic yes's, we all sat down to eat. "Wasn't there something you wanted to tell us Emile" Terrance said looking up from his food. " Yes but let's wait tell after dinner" I say frowning. We finish up dinner with some small talk, just trying to get up to date on each other's lives.

Once we get into the living room we all sat down. " Alright enough silence what's wrong Emile" Virgil said concerned. I look down and frown, anxiety bubbling in my chest and spreading throughout my body. " Well I've been having these thoughts, that I find kind of concerning" I said nervously. " Is it like a midlife crisis" Alex added in confused like everyone else.

" I'm 25, how could I be going through a midlife crisis" I say exasperated. "Hey it's it's possible" Alex says pouting. I just gave him the 'your crazy look'. He just huffed and said "well then what is the matter".

"Well these thoughts I've been having aren't normal and they scare me a lot". I say frowning deeply. Elliott reached over and grabbed my hand and held it tightly. I'm glad he did it is comforting. "I think I'm sick mentally, I don't know what happened but I keep having these horrid thoughts". 

"Can you tell us what the thoughts were". Terrance said looking concerned. "Well… there thoughts of you guys, and I kind of kill you in them". I say looking guilty. They didn't say anything for a minute then Virgil asked 'well did we do something to upset you'.

"No, of course not, how could you have we haven't seen each other in months". I say quickly. I don't want them to blame themselves for my problem. " Well you couldn't have just gone crazy". Alex says matter of factly. "Yeah have you ever actually wanted to kill us.'' Roman asks.

"Well of course not" I say. He has a point, I never actually wanted to hurt them. "Then why am I having these thoughts". I say confusing. This is so confusing, it's giving me a headache.

"I think I've heard about this, I believe these thoughts are simply intrusive thoughts". Says Terrance. I look up confused. "What's that?" I say. Someone's got to start explaining things because I'm very lost.

"There exactly what they sound like, unwanted thoughts". Terrance says this like it's most simple thing in the world. "Why do they keep happening then and why now". I say still confused.

"Well you could be worried about something, maybe it's because we haven't seen each other in awhile". Says Alex. Maybe they're right, maybe I do just miss them.

"I think you should go into therapy, it's not normal to think so lowly of yourself, you shouldn't have been that scared of yourself that you thought you could actually hurt us purposely". Terrance says. Do I really need therapy, I mean they've never lied to me before maybe I do need help but not because I'm going to hurt other people but because I'm going to hurt myself.

"Okay I'll go".


End file.
